I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
