I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize