I wish I could punch you in the face.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
