are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
