That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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