She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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