WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
