You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
