I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
