I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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