turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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