thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize