I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
