Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
