Cold hands, warm shart.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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