Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
