I'm really into asian looking animals
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Girls should come with a carfax report
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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