i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
