ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize