Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
