I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
