finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
