drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
