New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
