Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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