you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
