just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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