I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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