question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
