I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
