Me too!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize