Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
