did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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