I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
