that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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