Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
