No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
