Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
