why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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