Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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