It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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