is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
