And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
