We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
