I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize