As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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