trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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