I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
