First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
