Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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