Your dad touched me again.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
