So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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