My first STD was from a foam party
Small penises have feelings too.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
