I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
