He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
