drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
