yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
