what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
