im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she woke up with a sticky ear
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
