i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
