It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
