with your own penis?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
