You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
