Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
