he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
