coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
