He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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